unwanted attention

so yesterday I sat in a diner, waiting for my boyfriend to arrive.

I was sipping some hot tea and lemon and reading a little Sherlock Holmes when this older couple arrived and sat next to me.

Moments like this often remind me of how judgemental people are.

when my boyfriend arrived we perused the menus and ordered.

imagine the suprised faces of the couple when that little blonde girl, that pile of sticks and bones, ordered a BLT and fries. what? apparently they only expected me to have tea for dinner.

I've had this happen before where people will say "wow, look, Charlotte's actually eating something". or once while accompanying my mother to a plus sized store called "Avenue" had a rigid old lady scream "what the hell are you doing in here, you don't belong here" to my face.
yes, these moments are truly upsetting as they bring to attention the one thing I want so much to not have noticed--myself and my size.

but what was funny yesterday was simply how openly that couple expressed their shock. their obvious "we're not really listening to what they are ordering but we have most certainly stopped talking so we can hear" tactics were followed by their near whiplash head turns to me when I proceeded to order a slice of apple pie for dessert.

moments like that would have used to make me hang my head in shame, turn away the plate, and mutter something about not being hungry because, truthfully, their utter lack of tact would have made me lose my appetite. I would have felt like I needed to fall into their preconceived notions and not eaten.

but not yesterday, no. yesterday, I felt differently. I proudly ordered what I wanted, ate as much as Iwanted, and didn't feel ashamed to say, hey, I ate a full meal, I'm not hungry anymore, I don't necessarily need to eat the rest because I'm satisfied.

shove it, ed.